Okay, first, I want to thank everyone for the snowflake cookies. It was awesomely fun, particularly as that's the only snowfall we'll be seeing this year. (I know, I know, everyone who is currently buried in snow is saying, "Oh, my heart bleeds for you." Let me keep my snow fantasies, people!) Also, um, it turns out there's a setting you can have turned on that notifies you when someone you have friended gets a virtual gift. I totally did not know that. And a lot of you got snowflakes. A lot. That comment notification lockup? That was probably partly my fault. I'm still getting backed-up notices about snowflakes.

...I'll fix that setting now.

But that is unrelated to the subject of this poll. Allow me to make a sharp left turn, here.

I'm curious about the fannish baby boom. As in, is it real? Unfortunately, I can't go back in time and run this poll on fans ten years ago, but I can at least be nosy today, and that's good enough for me. Tell me about your next generation!

Poll #1497731 Baby Boom
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 579

How many kids do you have?

How old are your kids?

Are you expecting a baby right now?

What's your thought about having kids?

Are fans having more babies now than when you were first in fandom?

And, finally, on a completely unrelated note: how happy are you overall? One is miserable, five is joyful.

True confessions time: I love hard SF. My ideal, in this arena, is the kind of story where each page contains either an equation or a paragraph of dense scientific explanation (usually in stilted dialog, spoken by the story's Resident Explanatory Genius).

So I was pleased to get a copy of Stephen Baxter's Manifold: Time for free. It contains almost as much sciency verbiage as I want from my SF, and it's fun and entertaining. There are even female characters who get a lot of screen time - it may even be 50:50 male:female, although the book hasn't passed the Bechdel test anywhere yet. (I'm not quite finished.)

Over the years, I've become very used to the problems of hard SF. (Like, I am totally willing to celebrate Manifold: Time's amazing quantity of girl characters: two! Of course, neither of them understands the science at all, but I know better than to ask for miracles.) One of the big ones is that a lot of the people who write it - well, they understand the science. They understand the math. Actual people are harder.

Like, there's a scene in the book where the Resident Explanatory Genius goes on television to tell the world about the Carter catastrophe (in a highly condensed version, this is a statistical argument that predicts the probability of the end of the human race in the relatively near future), which the book uses in a modified form that says we, as a species, probably only have about 200 years left. The REG does not go for the simplified, sound-bite version I just gave you; he goes on for a while, explaining Why the Human Race Is (Probably) Doomed, in his usual sciency verbiage style. And the world goes into a panic and depression.

I read that and realized Baxter has no clue what people are actually like, or he'd know that the normal human response to a speech like that, on television, is not panic and depression; it's changing the channel. Very few people would listen long enough, or pay enough attention, to understand what the REG is saying. And even those who did wouldn't buy it. Statistics? That are predicated on the idea that there is nothing special about us? No one is going to believe it or even give a shit, frankly, except people who already know what the Carter catastrophe is.

But, fine, hard SF writers are allowed to write about slightly AU versions of our reality. I'm comfortable with that.

I was a little more impressed (horrified, whatever) with a very special piece of characterization. The main character is named Malenfant (yes, really), and late in the book (spoilers!), it is revealed that - wait. Let's do this as a poll.

Say that you discover that you have a treatable but not curable disease - you'll live a normal life, but you'll have to take medication regularly. This means you can't be an astronaut and will have to fall back on your plan B, which is being a maverick billionaire industrialist. (It's always good to have a safety career!)

Also, you are married. Your wife, Emma, doesn't want children, but nonetheless, this disease means you won't be able to have any.

You decide that the obvious way to handle this is not to tell her, and then have an affair, so that you can divorce Emma, so that you don't ruin her life, because you love her SO MUCH and this treatable illness makes you unworthy. Of course, she is intimately involved in your corporation, and indeed keeps it running, so you will still see her every day and she will still be closely involved in your life; you have explicitly told her that, sure, you're getting divorced, but you don't want her to quit. Decades go past with her wondering what the fuck happened and you maintaining your noble silence.

Poll #1489604 Manifold: Morons
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 491

What can be said about this?

Do you want to hear more about books from me? Including ones I actually like?

I am having a crappy day, people. I come to you for entertainment and distraction.

So, the other day - or maybe it was the other week; I'm not exactly Speedy Jenny, here - frostfire_17 said something that interested me. She said that she thinks Reboot Kirk would be kinkier than TOS Kirk.

My immediate reaction, of course, was to want to evaluate the Perceived Kinkiness (PK) of many characters on a set scale. This is a pressing and important issue in fandom, after all, and I think it's tragic that I can find no previous work on the subject in the literature. (Why is there no journal of Fandometrics? I know lots of people study fans, and, look, I love you guys and I find you interesting and all, but what I really want to read is studies on the characteristics of various OTP groups within a given fandom as compared to OTP groups within another fandom, and an ordering of perceived character intelligence plotted against six key traits one of which is total percentage of dialog, and data on the distribution of key adjectives associated with certain characters, and maybe how that relates to fannish migration over time. Plus, of course, PK.) Fortunately, we have this thing called polls, so I can at least cover the PK issue until such a time as Fandometrics starts publishing.

Obviously, answer this poll using your own personal definition of kinkiness. For bonus points (and a more distracted, and thus more happy, TFV), discuss what specific kinks you think a character is mostly likely to have in the comments.

On this scale, 0 is totally not at all kinky, and 5 is most kinky in all the land. Go! Rate! We will have our Fandometrics yet! (And now we do, thanks to dramaturgca: fandometrics!)

( Cut for a big long list of characters with buttons to push. )

So, the other day I took the earthling to the mall for walking-around purposes, and every single store except the Cinnabon was having a sale. It was a little scary. And we're looking for a desk right now, and half the local furniture stores are having a sale. The other half are out of business. Friends of mine have been laid off. California's budget looks like it's been hit by asteroids.

I am alarmed. And so I'm wondering about y'all: how are you doing? Poll time!

And, by the way, if you're thinking now might be a good time to get your finances in order, I highly recommend the services of jarrow, who does custom budget spreadsheets for fellow fans (and, I assume, others). The spreadsheets are a) really, really pretty (they look like Monopoly!) b) easy to use and c) cheap. It does not get better than that, people. (Except it does: he also provides instruction and tech support. And emotional support, too, if you need it, like if you find budgeting just way too scary ever to face, or if you hyperventilate every time you think about your bills.) We had been trying to use Quicken for two years, and basically only achieving an ever-growing hatred of Quicken. John's spreadsheet, on the other hand, is totally working for us.

And now, let's talk about you.

Poll #1425209 Economy
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 676

I'm taking this poll!

Jobs!

Finances!

Savings!

Longitudinal comparison!

Health insurance! (Note: not dental.)

Attitude!

A few weeks ago, Best Beloved was at her library talking to a patron. The patron explained that she was in a big hurry to go out and buy a new TV, because her main TV had broken, and she had another TV that was just as good, but she felt weird not having a backup. (Keep in mind that this patron lives alone.)

Best Beloved was surprised by this. When she relayed it to me, I was also surprised. But then, we are not exactly normal in our relationship to television. (For Best Beloved, it's like an old friend who she's always happy to see, but rarely actually does see. For me, it's like an acquaintance who leads a fascinating life in a distant land and occasionally takes a break from it to come to my house and punch me in the mouth.)

Fortunately, I know a large group of people who have, if not a normal relationship with television, at least a more normal one. So I thought I'd ask you about this backup TV thing. Plus some other nosy questions about technology, because I care enough to be inappropriately curious about your life!

Poll #1419179 Televisions
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 705

First, and most important: if you had a backup TV as good as your main TV, and your main TV broke, would you buy a new one?

How many people live in your place of residence, including you? (If you live in a dorm or wherever, only count the people who actually share your room.)

How many of those people are under the age of two?

How many TVs do you (or your family) own?

How many computers (desktops, laptops, netbooks) do you (or your family) own? (Functioning ones. The Computer Graveyard in the back closet does not count.)

Check all that apply.

More check boxes for your checking pleasure!

How many hours of TV do you watch during a week? Recorded stuff, DVRed stuff, movies at home, stuff you watch on hulu at your computer - it all counts.

You have to give up one. Otherwise, you will lose both.

Finally, please choose a chunk of text.

On April 30, open beta of Dreamwidth starts. Where will you be?

(What's Dreamwidth? Why are some people switching to Dreamwidth? What is Dreamwidth like for users right now?)

Poll #1376683 Dreamwidth?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 370

Are you going to Dreamwidthland?

If you're on DW, what's your username?

If I (TFV) crosspost to DW and LJ, where are you likely to read my posts?

Where do you plan to read posts in general? (Like, where will you be doing the majority of your friends list reading?)

Where do you plan to post entries? (In your own personal journal, but on what site?)

In conclusion:

I'm going to Vividcon! And, in celebration, I have vid recs. But first, a VVC-related comment and poll:

( VVC! )

The One That Will Have You Looking Suspiciously at Cherry Stems Forever. Handlebars, by flummery. Doctor Who.

This is - well. This is the Doctor. End of story. This is the Doctor in every respect and every detail. The first time I watched this, I was basically clapping in glee from the very first line, and then it got better. And better. And better. And eventually it achieved such amazing levels of betterness that I still haven't entirely recovered. This vid rendered me incoherent. Permanently.

I don't want to tell you how it gets better - if you've somehow missed this vid and this song, just go watch it. You will not be the sorrier. In fact, even if you have no idea who this Doctor person is (He travels through time. With friends. It's complicated.), still go watch it, because after you see this, you will most definitely know.

I once thought I preferred vids about companions (Or enemies, or Daleks. Why are there no Dalek vids? There are lots of good vids songs for them! One is the loneliest number! Make a Circuit with Me! The Macarena!) to vids about the Doctor. And that's still true. But what I think is - my brain knew that this vid was coming, and decided it might just as well wait for perfection.

The One That Demonstrates Why You Might Not Want to Make Pegasus Galaxy Your Vacation Destination. Well, Yes, Life-Sucking Monsters. But It Gets Much Worse Than That, Actually. Open Secrets of the Pegasus Galaxy, by yevgenie. Stargate: Atlantis.

Okay, first: this is her first vid, you guys. How is this her FIRST VID?

Second: this is the vid that says everything we all know about SGA and don't talk about. Basically, I'd sum that up as: no one gets out of Pegasus clean. (In fact, you mostly don't get out at all. This vid makes that point, too.) The Wraith are the enemy, but how are they different than Atlantis, given some of the decisions the home team makes? The Ancients are (supposed to be, and oh my god, so not, so skeevy) the good guys, but look how badly they fucked Pegasus over. The open secret of Pegasus seems to me to be that everyone fails, falls, dies, fucks up, and fucks over. No heroes.

And now I'd like to talk about the song. Because, see, I love Leonard Cohen. I occasionally fantasize about marrying one of his songs. But I have always considered him basically unviddable. Turns out, nope! I just didn't have the right vision, because oh my god how this song works - works for the vid, works for the theme, works works works. Even if this vid didn't say something I've always wanted someone to say about SGA, I would still love it to pieces, because it's a vid to Leonard Fucking Cohen. That sound you just heard was my heart growing three sizes.

(FIRST. VID. HOW? HOW?)

The One That Is Evidence for the Prosecution. Climbing up the Walls, by obsessive24. Supernatural, Firefly, and Heroes.

Sooooo. I'm trying to think how to put this. Okay, let's start with this: INCEST. This vid is about incest. And it pulls no punches. Actually, it - you know those video games where, if you hit like nine million buttons in exactly the right order while standing on one foot and whistling Dixie, your character will rear back, grow a robo-claw, and rip another character's head off and eat it? This is the kind of punch this vid has.

And it's just. Fucking. Brilliant. You will be glad your head has been ripped off and eaten by this vid.

What we have here is an incest narrative with all the fanon taken out. Yeah, sure, there are three sibling pairings, here, but it almost doesn't matter; the central story is the same for all of them: fucked-up families, needy and vulnerable younger sibling, obsessively protective older sibling, and then the robo-claw comes out. But the point is: this vid is awesome, and so incredibly rich (there's so much here I could write several lengthy essays about this, for reals), and brutally real. And the brutality should in no way scare you off. (You weren't using that head anyway. And, hey, who doesn't want to see a robo-claw?)

The One That Would Give Charles Darwin Nightmares. (No, Really. He Was a Very Sensitive Man.) Unnatural Selection, by charmax. Battlestar Galactica and Terminator.

My love for robots is well-documented. At this point, I don't think I need to tell you that sometimes I'm rooting for the robots. But, um. The robots in this vid don't need any humans in their cheering squad; they're doing just fine by themselves. (And, yes, my love for robots can totally survive this vid. I imprinted on robots early and well.)

I don't know either of the sources for this vid. It totally does not matter. (I didn't know any of the sources for obsessive24's vid, either. Cluelessness is my comfort zone!) The basic message is very clear to anyone who grew up on hard science fiction: we're going to build the next stage. And then it's going to destroy us. (Mine was, yes, a cheerful childhood, always anticipating the moment the machines/metahumans/genetically engineered blobs would rise up and take over. In my day, we didn't need violent video games to prepare us for the apocalypse.)

I love this vid so much, which is a strange thing to say about something that's equal parts dead humans, robotic overlords, and various apocalypses. (Like a Jonathan Coulton album! Except not funny. Really not.) But it's gorgeous and so brilliantly edited and it does in three minutes what it took science fiction a childhood to do for me. Watch. Learn. And fear the future.

Hey, it's Yuletide Eve! And I know most of you are probably doing - I don't know, family things, or festive things, or possibly trying to put together something with nine million plastic parts - but I am here. Waiting. Very impatiently. And if you're here, too, you could take my poll. Clicking entertainment for you! Distraction for me! Everyone wins!

Poll #1320548 Waiting for Yuletide 2008
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 579

Why are you here? No, I don't mean on earth. I meant, you know, at this LJ.

Which of these are current fandoms for you?

If I left out your fandom, this is where you tell me about it.

And, just out of curiosity, how many story (or whatever) exchanges are you doing this season?

So, there was this secret questions meme going around. And of course I was curious - I am, after all, made mostly of curiosity (actual formula: 70% curiosity, 22% sarcasm, 8% cheese) - but you had to agree to post the meme to get the questions. And I don't do memes here.

And then a certain person rended the veil of secrecy. I won't name her. (Okay, I will. It was toft_froggy. All hail her!) And. Well. I was kind of disappointed. I expected AWESOME questions. I expected questions WORTH keeping a secret. ("Who is fixing the current presidential election?" for example.) Instead, they were - well. I didn't think they were optimized for fannish use, let's put it that way.

So obviously I had no choice; I wrote my own version of the meme (with extensive help from best_beloved, as I was actually nursing the earthling while I did this). But I still don't post memes here. Instead, I am posting a poll! Please answer with names selected from your friends list. And please do answer. Unlike the original meme, these are things I seriously want to know.

( The entirely not-secret questions not-meme. )

Recently, I was moderately flabbergasted to come upon a Highlander x Yami no Matsuei crossover. I had one of those moments of staring blankly at the computer screen, trying to figure out if I had experienced a sudden linguistic disconnect, and maybe in this language "Highlander x Yami no Matsuei crossover" actually meant "now we all get cake" or something, because surely such a thing, defined as I understood it, was totally impossible.

And then I read it, and realized that, no, it isn't impossible, and I was forced once again to reflect on the fact that Highlander seems to be a fandom that is just very open to crossovers. I know that's partly because, hey, you've got 5,000 years of mostly unfilled Methos backstory, and who is to say he didn't pick up a young Christopher Keller in a gay bar? He could have! He could also have spent fifteen years traveling around with Doctor Who. I mean, it's not like he'd necessarily bring either of those things up in conversation. But also, just, the Highlander universe seems to be unusually smooshy - it is totally willing to cozy up to, maybe even move in with, other canons, as I'm reminded every time the HL newsletter comes out and most of the new stories are crossovers.

Naturally, I got to wondering: what other fandoms are particularly crossover-friendly? And that led, inevitably, to thoughts of those fandoms that are much, much harder to work into crossovers. Which led to thoughts of AUs, which in turn took me to a terrifying meta place, and Best Beloved had to come talk me down. "How about a poll?" she said. "Polls are fun! And, also, you can probably finish one before you fall asleep." (Whereas with actual meta - at the rate I'm currently finishing stuff, I'd have it ready for posting in, um, 2012 or thereabouts, assuming no delays for rain.)

So perhaps you would like to write my meta for me? I offer ticky boxes as incentive!

Poll #1177790
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 337

Which fandoms are especially amenable to crossovers?

TFV, you totally failed to include the BEST FANDOM EVER for crossovers, and it is:

Which fandoms are especially crossover-resistant?

There is a fandom so resistant to crossovers that 25% of writers who attempt it do not survive, and it is:

Do fandoms that are good for crossovers tend to be good for AUs (and ones bad for crossovers tend to be bad for AUs)?

The head-splittingest crossover imaginable (two fandoms only!) is:

My secret dream crossover of insanity (two fandoms only!) is:

I've seen lots of people doing year-end wrap-ups, but, well, I don't really have a lot to wrap up. You all know how my year went. Instead, I thought I'd ask you: how was your year? Are you happy, baby? (I'm also curious because a lot of people seem to have had absolutely terrible 2007s; I'm wondering if it was just the Cursed Year or what.)

And the question at the end is a very important one. Best Beloved and I were talking about that story, and we totally disagreed about what happened. I'd like to be proved right by majority rule, please. Voting is key.

Poll #1114196 How was your year?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 285

So, how was 2007 for you, overall? 1 = terrible, 5 = awesome.

How about your fannish year? 1 = terrible, 5 = awesome.

Are you happier than you were at this time last year?

What was the most important (or interesting, or exciting) thing that happened to you this year?

So, which was it: the lady or the tiger?

So. Last year, during the yuletide run up, I ran a prompt poll. (Not, you know, a very timely poll - a poll about prompts.) And, in addition to the things I already knew about prompts (I suck at them! They are harder than they sound! There's a science to writing prompts, and it can be mastered. Or, okay, that last one is just what I choose to believe.), I learned some stuff. And since Yuletide is approaching this year (yay!), I thought I'd kind of write up the results, post them, see if I couldn't figure this whole prompt mystery out.

But, first, let's talk about what the poll confirmed: I suck at prompts, and last Yuletide was no exception. I wrote the kind of prompt that no one hopes to get, that more than half of writers fear, and that almost no one gives. In other words, I wrote really detailed prompts. Um. Oops? (Look. I knew I was doing wrong, but I couldn't stop myself. This is obviously a sickness, and I am more to be pitied than censured.)

On the other hand, I got an awesome story last year anyway. (Thank you, astolat!) No matter how much my prompts have sucked over the years (and I think they especially sucked the Yuletide I went with "Would prefer slash" as my only prompt for all four requests - yes, my shame is real), I've gotten good stories. Clearly, the Yuletide gods look after the pathetic. Or maybe Yuletide writers just try harder than any reasonable human could ever expect. (I mean, yes, I try hard to write to my recipient's prompts, but then I've been lucky - three years of entirely sane recipients. Well. Sane as far as prompt-writing goes. I can't speak for the rest of it. They may dress potatoes in lacy undergarments in their spare time, but their prompts were entirely sane and potato-free.)

My point is: bad prompts don't mean bad stories.

However, bad prompts may lead to crazed writers (and mods, if the bad prompt drives some poor writer over the edge). So I am determined to beat this thing. (It will be a Triumph of the Human Spirit! Perhaps, when I am formally declared to be Awesomest Prompt Writer Ever, I can sell my uplifting tale to Reader's Digest.) Thanks to the poll, I now have strategies. I have Lessons Learned! And, of course, I'm going to share them, because what would fandom be without a lot of random blither? Not the fandom I know and love, that's for sure. (Also, quiet.)

• Learn from the best. I had a resource available to me this whole time, and I didn't even know it. norah writes fabulous prompts, and I have vowed in the future to follow her example. I will also get her to beta my prompts, for the good of the community and as a service to all writerkind. Behold the wonder of the MMWD-style prompt!
  
  
• Everyone enjoys a deluxe assortment. Specifically, your assigned writer is most likely to be happy if you provide a few story ideas. ("A gen piece about A's time in the Solar Defense Militia. Or anything A/C, post-canon. Or maybe you could bring D back from the dead.") This allows your writer to go with whichever idea makes her happiest. It also staves off the impression that you're married to one specific story idea, and that your Yuletide will be ruined if you do not get that A/C crossover AU in which A is a rabbit and C is a zombie. This is important, because -
  
  
• Almost everyone takes prompts really seriously. Try to remember this when you're writing prompts. Whether you take four seconds to dash off a few suggestions - "Possibly some light, frothy, funny BDSM incest with a dash of serial killing!" - or four days to detail a complete list of everything you like and hope to see - "...And I want a pony, and also peace on earth, and, Santa, if you could get the story recorded as a podfic read by Alan Rickman, then that's what I hope for most, and also did I mention the pony?" - your writer will certainly spend the next six weeks or so pondering every single word of it. She will likely also IM her betas and friends. ("And I'm wondering, when she said pony, did she mean a Mustang? Did she mean pony play? Does she want a shot glass? OMG I hope she didn't mean a Mustang, because I do not have time to research cars.") My point is: your words are going to be considered very, very carefully, so weigh them with equal care.
  
  
• Your prompt may be the only thing your writer knows about you. You can do things to change this - write a good Santa letter (more about this later!), leave LJ entries unlocked, provide an exhaustive catalog of your loves and hates, zip the complete contents of your hard drive and upload it, etc. But what you can't do, at least in Yuletide, is assume your writer is coming into it knowing anything at all about you.
  
  Last Yuletide, I wrote two stories. One was for someone I knew. The other was for someone I didn't know at all. I worked just as hard on both stories, and judging from the comments, the stories were equally good (or bad) and equally enjoyed by their recipients. But I worried more about the one for the person I didn't know. Or, let me put it this way:
  
  When I got the prompt from the stranger, I read her Santa letter. I went to her LJ. I read her fan fiction. And I still didn't really know if she would like my idea or the story I wrote for her. I didn't know if we had similar senses of humor, if my take on the canon matched hers, if we used the same definitions of the words in her prompt - and these are things it's tough to learn about a stranger. So I, for example, deleted several jokes from my rough draft, on the grounds that she might find them offensive. I mean, she might have been a Scientologist. There was no way I could know! I played it safe where I could, because, well, I was already taking a somewhat risky approach to her fandom and pairing, and I didn't want to add to the risk.
  
  When I got the prompt from the friend (as a pinch hit), I read her Santa letter. But the thing was, since I know her, I knew immediately that she'd probably like my first idea for the fandom. (Like, I only realized after I'd posted her story that I never for a moment considered that she might want gen.) And, since I know her, I was able to recruit betas who knew her, too. It's amazingly reassuring to have your betas send you feedback that starts, "OMG, she'll LOVE this!"
  
  But there were 900 participants in Yuletide last year. (With luck, we'll break that this year. Wouldn't that be cool?) I didn't know most of them. Most of them didn't know me. The likelier scenario, in other words, for both you and your assigned writer, is that you'll be strangers until the reveal. Which means it's best to plan and act as though that's what's going to happen.
  
  
• You and your writer may not be from the same parts of fandom. Especially in Yuletide, people come from all over fandom, and are assigned to each other based on knowledge of and love for a rare fandom. You may both be very interested in a sitcom that aired on British television for two years in the early 1970s, but that doesn't mean you're both into slash, gen, or het. It doesn't mean you're both media fans or anime fans or whatever. It doesn't mean you share a gender, a political affiliation, a religion, or a cultural background. In other words, what looks like an easy prompt to you may be impossible for your writer to imagine. This is why a prompt assortment works well. It's also something you should keep in mind as you read your story.
  
  
• Make sure the words mean what you think they mean. The kind of prompt that showed up most frequently in the text answers to "hardest" and "strangest" was a slash pairing request accompanied by the words "no slash." If you ask for "gen McShep," your writer is going to be confused. Also distressed. So don't use fannish terms unless you know what they mean - and if you're new to this, it might be a good idea to have someone else read your prompts, just to be sure. Also, if you use terms that seem mutually contradictory ("Angsty death schmoop!"), it might be helpful to go into a bit more detail in your Santa letter.
  
  
• This is not a menu. Do not order a #2 with an extra enchilada and no sauce. Your assigned writer is not your slave for six weeks. She's not here to fulfill your every whim, although she is going to try damn hard to fulfill one of your wishes. So, in general, avoid prompts that look like you're giving orders for a tailored suit. Detailed story outlines ("After A leaves B at the end of the canon, he goes on a journey to Tibet to find himself, and meets C along the way. Red-hot A/C lovin' follows, and then they meet the Old Man of the Mountain. It all ends well, although B is dead!") will probably leave your writer wondering why, if you know exactly what you want, you don't just write it yourself.

But here are the two most important things, hands down:

1. Say what you don't want. If you are squicked by all mention of snails, share that. If you really, really do not want deathfic, say so. If any mention of any bodily fluid leaves you needing to lie down with a cold cloth on your eyes, mention this. If your "no" list is fairly short ("No animal harm of any kind, please") or contains fairly common things ("No slash, please.") put it in your request itself. Otherwise, put it in your Santa letter. But say it somewhere.
   
   In either case, try to remember - again! - that you don't necessarily have anything in common with your writer. She may love snails. She may have dedicated her life to the study and protection of snails. You can't know. So try to phrase your "no" list politely. "ABSOLUTELY NO SNAILFIC. I *mean* it. Snails = gross!" may, in fact, come off as an insult to your writer. The wise requester will avoid this whenever possible. Remember: the thoughtful, considerate writer, which 99.9% of writers are, will hear you the first time. And the rest of the writers won't hear you no matter how many times you repeat it. So why waste the space?
   
   
2. Write some kind of prompt. Yes, a few writers would rather not have one, but in Yuletide, they can ignore your request. (And those who don't want a prompt probably won't sign up for exchanges where they can't.) And almost everyone dreaded getting no guidance. It's hard to figure out where to start. It's hard to figure out where not to start. And, if you end up being a pinch hit, it will be very hard for someone to take your request and hit the ground running (which is what pinch hitters have to do) if there are no details to use as a springboard. (Um. Mixed metaphor, but you take my point, yes?)

And then there's the Santa letter. It's a good idea to write one. And if you want to write a good one, well, here's what I will be remembering, or trying to remember, when I write my Santa letter in just a few weeks (eee!):

• Do not use your Santa letter to fix problems with your request. (In other words, don't be me.) If there's a problem with your request, fix it there. Resubmit the sucker. It's worth your time. Otherwise, you run the risk of, for example, getting a pinch hitter who picked up your request based on the prompt you overrode in your Santa letter. She'll probably write the story she had in mind anyway, because she may not have time to do anything else.
  
  
• Do tell your writer about yourself. If you have an "all about me" post, link to that. Or just tell a little about yourself - likes, dislikes, whatever. Trust me, your Santa will appreciate it.
  
  
• Do tell your writer about the canons and characters you requested. This is vastly helpful to your writer - someone who loves the canon because "it's funny, and totally like what real life would be if you were dead" is going to love a different story than someone who loves the same canon because "it's got a concealed edge in its humor - like, you're laughing, but you're gutted at the same time." Someone who loves character A because "he's such a dork OMG" is going to love a different story than someone who loves him because "he has these moments of incredible insight, and he does important things even though they're hard for him."
  
  You can also use the space to link to resources your writer might find helpful. I mean, if you're obsessed with the canon, you probably know a few things about it, and, hey, why not be helpful? Perhaps your author is indeed searching for the full-text version of your canon, or for a place that really knows boats, or a complete dictionary of obsolete medical terms. The time she doesn't have to spend on research is just that much more time for writing.

And now is the portion of the post where we summarize what we've learned. Here's what I've learned: I just wrote more than 2,000 words on prompts. I got two pages of comments on prompts. And people had long, long memories for the prompts that hurt or helped them most. In other words, prompt-writing is hard, and writing to prompts is also hard. So, if you can, be charitable and generous when you're writing them and when you're writing to them. And if you are, for example, me, and thus you write really sucky prompts, well, there's always next year. Someday, you will be Prompt Queen. Keep trying.

And, no matter what kind of prompt you write, no matter what kind of story you get, remember to thank the writer who makes Yuletide happen for you.

~

liviapenn has also posted thinky thoughts on prompts. And her thoughts come with the details of the mythical but fascinating canon Ghost Soup! You don't want to miss this.

Okay, I've put this off long enough. (Hi, my name is TFV, and I'm totally change-phobic. I hold the regional title for hiding-head-in-sand, and am a certified expert in change denial. Need mentoring in the fine art of fearing change? I am here for you.)

Seems to me that, what with the ever-changing and quite confusing ToS on LJ, it's only reasonable for me to do something besides post all my content to LJ and just kind of hope I don't lose it. (Yes, I have backups, but not, at this time, a real offsite backup.) But, of course, I'm waffling on what I'm going to do. When in doubt, poll!

Also, every day I'm seeing deletions and departure notices, and I kind of want to figure out where everyone is going before you're all, you know, gone. I realize I'm too late to catch the first wave of LJ departures, so if any of you cross-post or do newsletter things or also journal on another service, I'd really appreciate a link. (This isn't just for people on my friends list, by the way. There are journals I read that I don't have friended, after all.) So, again, a poll seems like a good way to collect information.

I know people who don't have LJ accounts anymore - as in, deleted or suspended - can't actually take the poll. In that case, feel free to answer whichever questions you choose (including, ideally, the location of your journal-type content and your fanworks) in the comments. Anonymous commenting is on. If you can't do that, either, then feel free to email me. I want to know where you are!

It's probably getting really boring seeing polls like this all over your friends list. I'm sorry. But I don't want to lose my content or my community, so - well, I'd really appreciate it if you'd take mine. (If it makes you grouchy, there's an option in the poll to tell me to just quit LJing. Feel free to use it!)

( Quo Vadimus? )

I just went to make an addition to our Netflix queue, and I was - okay. Does this happen to anyone else? You look at the movies/books/whatever that a given service (Netflix and Amazon are my two big offenders, here, as we don't have TiVo or even, you know, anything for a TiVo to record) suggests for you, and you think, "Have I injured this service in some way? Is this a deliberate insult? Or does Netflix [or whoever] really think I am this person?"

For me, that is usually followed, a microsecond later, by, "...Oh, god. Am I this person?"

The first blink of the day was caused by Netflix's showcased recommendation: The Founding Fathers: The Men Who Shaped Our Nation. There are several dozen reasons why I am extremely unlikely to watch this DVD, ever. But, fine, whatever, perhaps Netflix is just feeling unusually patriotic or something. Except, well, Netflix claims that we will enjoy this movie because we enjoyed The Reduced Shakespeare Company. Not the same thing, Netflix! Unless The Founding Fathers has a comedy bent that is very, very well hidden in the description.

So, fine. Apparently Netflix feels that I need to be a little more serious in my cultural consumption. Less humor, more history. All right. This is something I can hear and remain calm. I can handle constructive criticism. (I can. Really!)

It was in this mood - noble martyrdom, basically, with a side order of pretending not to be miffed - that I clicked on the Movies You'll ♥ tab. I have instinctively avoided this since they introduced it, on the grounds that that kind of imperative statement gets my back up. "Oh," I think. "I will ♥ this, will I? HAH. I FLATLY REFUSE TO ♥ ANYTHING. That will show them." This is not healthy behavior, and generally I try to suppress it. But since I was already fairly ruffled, plus violently hormonal, plus seriously short on sleep, I decided to click.

(You may, at this juncture, be questioning my decision. Feel free. It's just - sometimes you know you'll regret it, and you click anyway, and before you tell me you never do that, I want you to think about the time you clicked on goatse.)

So. The top movies I will (by order of Netflix) ♥ are:

1. Brokeback Mountain
   
2. Angels in America
   
3. House, MD
   
4. C.R.A.Z.Y.
   
5. Street Fight
   
6. The World According to Sesame Street

So, in order, we have:

1. A gay-themed cowboy movie that I already specifically told Netflix I did not want to see. (You may indeed call me a bad fan AND a bad person of alternative sexual orientation AND a cultural boor, if you like. I don't care. I've read the short story, and that, frankly, was enough. See also: hormonal weepiness. When just the thought of the shirt scene makes me sniffly, I know to avoid the movie.)
   
   
2. An AIDS-themed miniseries that I very much suspect is subject to the same hormonal weepiness ban.
   
   
3. A show about two doctors in love. With lots of cancer in the background. Can I just - can I just have a quick word with Netflix, here? DEAR NETFLIX: I CRIED FIVE TIMES OVER AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER. I CANNOT BE WATCHING THINGS WHERE PEOPLE DIE OF CANCER OR AIDS OR HATE CRIME. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PROMPT ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
   
   
4. A movie that, going by the summary, is about growing up gay in Canada in the arms of David Bowie and Mick Jagger. I'll admit that Netflix has piqued my interest here, except after the first three, I suspect that this is about growing up gay in Montreal and, like, volunteering to work with terminally ill angels in Stetsons. See what happens when you aren't thoughtful with your suggestions, Netflix? My trust just isn't there anymore.
   
   
5. A documentary about a mayoral election. In Newark, NJ. I mean, I'm sure it was a fascinating election, but there is a certain discontinuity, here.
   
   
6. A documentary about a children's show I have never seen and know nothing about except that it has something to do with muppets and a large yellow bird.
   

But I will give Netflix credit for identifying at least one of my interests. I would call that interest "the gay." It's just that the accompanying message appears to be, "Enough with the gay, already. How about politics? Or, hell, how about the politics of children's programming? ANYTHING. SERIOUSLY. GET A LIFE. A MUCH STRAIGHTER ONE."

So. Fascinated, I pushed on to the individual genres section.

See, the way this works is, you tell them what genres you prefer to watch (in our family, this is documentaries for me, TV and anime for Best Beloved, and classics and SF/fantasy for both of us), and they give more weight to items in those genres. Which, fine. I wasn't particularly delighted with their selections in those areas, except for an animated series called The Amazing Screw-On Head, which I added to our queue on the grounds that a) that is a truly awesome title and b) Best Beloved will be watching it, not me, so awesomeness of title is more than enough reason to get it.

And then I got to their suggested genres. These are, apparently, the ones they think we might like that we haven't rated yet. What genre does Netflix think we should watch? What specific genre does it feel is lacking from our current rental line-up? Faith and Spirituality. ("Rate more Faith and Spirituality movies, so we can give you more recommendations," it advised. We can't. We haven't seen any of them. This is unlikely to change, Netflix.)

So now the message is: you love the gay, but we think you need to develop more wholesome interests, like politics, large yellow birds, and religion. In other words: NETFLIX IS JUDGING ME.

I seethed via email to Best Beloved for a bit.

So, once you've worked up a certain amount of righteous indignation, it's obviously time to continue in that vein, yes? Which meant heading over to see what Amazon wants me to buy.

What does Amazon want me to buy? I'm glad you asked.

1. Every single yaoi manga ever published in the United States. Here's just a partial sampling: Love Mode, Yellow, Gravitation, Fake, Our Everlasting, La Esperanca, Shinobo Kokoro (seriously awesome slogan: "protecting the clan with some man-on-man" - that totally goes on my There Oughtta Be a Challenge manga tag lines list, which gets longer with every passing day), Gerard & Jacques (down, bandslashers!), The Art of Loving (not, as it sounds, one of those unfortunate '50s-era marital advice books), Wild Rock (the blurb says, in part: "can these star-crossed lovers get behind each other to stop the long-standing family feud?" - um, yes, we already GOT that it was yaoi, no need to include the gratuitous buttsex joke), Sweet Revolution (in which the seme possesses a "magical dagger" - that's yaoi for "healing cock," right?), Man's Best Friend (which does indeed involve gay sex with a magical transforming dog; this is why yaoi fandoms don't need crackfic, people), Lovely Sick - seriously, you would not believe the list of yaoi in my recommendations. Pages and pages. Some I'd never even heard of until today.
   
   And why am I supposed to consume this Time-Life Complete Yaoi Collection (attractively priced at only a bazillion dollars)? Because I bought a volume of Antique Bakery. Seriously. That's their whole reasoning behind this. This seems - I don't know. Disproportionate. I mean, okay, I love the gay as much as the next girl, but, but, but - one volume of Antique Bakery does not an entire library of yaoi manga make.
   
   And, really, if you're going to rec me yaoi manga, please don't just wholesale recommend the entire genre. Pick some especially solid ones and start there. Because, like - take Lovely Sick. Could be great, but it was apparently designed to hit every power imbalance squick I've ever had. Amazon, if you're going to rec me porn, at least pay attention to my particular porny needs!
   
   
2. NINE separate cleaning books. Eight of them are on organic cleaning around the home, including one called Clean House, Clean Planet. I know these are probably great books. The yaoi's probably good, too, at least some of it. But I still feel judged. Are you calling my house dirty, Amazon?
   
   Why, yes. I think you are. Feelings = hurt.
   
   They also want me to purchase a book called Baking Soda: Over 500 Fabulous, Fun, and Frugal Uses You've Probably Never Thought Of. See, now, I'm willing to believe there are many uses for baking soda that have never crossed my mind. Actually, I'm kind of proud of how little time I've invested, over the course of my life, in the development of novel baking soda applications. However, the title of this book, in such close company with all the gay manga, is taking me to some strange mental places, and now I must never think about baking soda again ever. Seriously. It's - I - just - no. (And the sad part is, if I'm thinking of it, some mangaka has probably already written it. Hide me!)
   
   
3. Science fiction and fantasy. This is entirely appropriate, and yet, taken in conjunction with everything else, is making me feel, um. A little pigeon-holed, typed, categorized, you know?
   
   
4. The complete works of Henry Jenkins and the whole fandom studies crowd. Aaaand the pigeon-holing is complete. Look, I am sure Henry Jenkins is a marvelous and fascinating writer. I've certainly liked what I've read by him. And I'm equally sure he's a wonderful person; I'll bet he donates money to homeless war orphan puppies with tragic ailments and so on. However, every single book he has ever written - plus all other books with "media" or "fan" in the title - seems excessive. It's like you're saying I have no life, Amazon!
   
   
5. Five books along the lines of Unforgettable Journeys to Take Before You Die.
   
   Yeah.
   
   Taken in conjunction with the previous items, I cannot help but interpret this as Amazon's gentle way of saying, "GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, YOU PORN-LOVING GEEKY FANNISH SLOBBO. For the love of little apples, at least do something besides sit at that computer. You're wasting your life! What's left of it! Because you're probably going to die pretty soon, since your house is a total pigsty. Heavens to Betsy, what will the neighbors think?"

In short, Amazon has decided that the role it should play in my life is "demented, over-involved, hypercritical mother with an unhealthy and profoundly traumatizing interest in me reading porn."

Thank you, Amazon. I appreciate the thought, I really do. But NO. No, we do not have that relationship.

So, Netflix thinks I'm a gay moral degenerate (true!) who needs to take up an interest in politics and religion and the Amazing Screw-On Head. Amazon thinks I'm a fannish moral degenerate (also true!) who needs to for Christ's sake clean something and go somewhere already. I'm fine with them thinking I'm a porn-obsessed lesbian whore of Babylon - complimented by it, in fact. But the judgment, that is going too far.

It could just be the hormones. It really could. But my feelings are very, very hurt.

Which got me to thinking - yes, yes, there's a point to this entry! - am I the only one who reacts this way?

Poll time!

Poll #985580
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 236

Is this a normal problem?

I have felt judged by:

What other services are secretly judging you?

In hopes of persuading recommendations services that I am a decent, intelligent person deserving of quality recommendations, I have:

Recently, I was discussing the writing of porn with a party who shall remain nameless (unless she chooses to be named). The key part of the conversation went kind of like this:

Her: I'm writing porn that is very difficult.
Me: *sympathy*
Me: *rambling about ME ME ME*
Me, continuing to ramble: Like, when I was writing my Yuletide 2005 story, my recipient requested "hot het porn." And what I wrote was unbelievably not hot, the antithesis of hot. You were there for the shrieking hysterical breakdown, so I don't need to recapitulate.
[Note: For those many lucky folks not there for the breakdown: there was shrieking. And hysterics. And a post that is, mercifully, locked privately away forever, but can be summarized as, "I will fail my recipient and ruin Yuletide. I LOSE." In conclusion: porn does not come easily to some of us, and if you're just snickering at that, well, okay. I am, too. Join me in my club for the incurably low-minded!]
Me, still rambling: And when I reread that story, it is still the antithesis of hot, at least to me.
Me, rambling ever on: In fact, I don't think I've ever found anything I've written even remotely hot. Huh. Perhaps this is why I am so very bad at writing porn.
Her: ...I find the porn I write hot.
Me: Ooo. I feel a poll coming on.

And then I realized that today I would be in need of distraction. So - here is that poll. And it's only for people who have ever written any kind of porn, of any stripe, except the last question, which can be taken by anyone.

For the purposes of this poll, "porn" doesn't have to be NC-17 or even R; it just has to be erotic in intent. And you don't have to have written a lot of it. Once is enough! And it doesn't have to have been fan fiction, either. And any manner of porn - boy parts, girl parts, a delightful mixture of parts, merman/centaur (no, do not ask where the merman keeps his parts, for that way lies madness), tentacles galore, whatever - is equally valid.

Pimping of this poll would be not only welcome but, given the topic, entirely appropriate. If you know porn writers, why not ask them to come on over? I'd appreciate it. Distract me, people! I'm begging. Nicely.

Poll #948511
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 394

Do you find porn you, yourself, are writing hot while you are writing it?

Do you find porn you, yourself, have written hot after you've written it? (Like, upon re-reading it.)

Judging by comments and betas and suchlike, do you react to your porn - in terms of hotness - differently than your readers?

Writing porn, as compared to other kinds of fiction writing, is:

As always, please exit the poll by choosing a random chunk of text suggested by Opera. (Special vaguely porn-related theme!)

norah is visiting me, and we got to talking, as we often do. (Okay. Full disclosure: the actual challenge would be making us shut the fuck up.) And one thing we talked about reminded me of a poll I'd considered posting lo these many moons ago, to test a hypothesis that I can't very well tell you beforehand. (Bias is death to informal and statistically skewed LJ polls, my friends.)

So, first, let me just say: hey, it'd be cool if you'd take this poll. I would love you and stuff.

Second - when I say "your friends list," I mean the portion of your friends list that you read regularly - your default reading filter, if you have one, or the whole list if that's how you read. (If you don't read your friends list at all, this poll is not going to be a good fit for you.) My point is, I want you to consider the people you know the best. (Which is not to say you necessarily know them well, of course.) And when I say "the average," I mean your own personally assessed average of this trait over your friends list.

And, seriously, there are no bad answers here. I'm only wondering where you fit into your own mental picture of your friends list for these particular variables. I know you may not have great data for all these questions; just give me your first reaction, and I will of course love you forever.

ETA: Please don't go back to change your answers after you've finished the poll and seen the results! (Unless you think of something you want to add to the text box, or you've decided shoes are more important than almost-cock. Those questions are weighty and take long consideration; I understand that.)

( Let us speak of standard deviation. We'll get back to the sexual deviation soon, I promise. )

isiscolo has an interesting post about the effect recommendations have on readership. (This is as judged by website statistics - part of her ongoing series on readership, feedback, and website stats, which I secretly suspect is a plot to make us all want websites. Or, for those of us who have websites, to make us want to put some actual content on them.)

This has been something of a theme with me recently. See, I do this whole recommendations thing so strangely that it is a constant delight to me that anyone reads or uses my LJ. So it never occurred to me that my recommendations might have effects on, say, readership or feedback. But first I had a vidder telling me my rec of her vid had a noticeable effect on downloading, and I swooned from joy. And then fairestcat and isiscolo pointed out to me that sometimes you can see actual feedback on stories that probably is the result of your rec! (Like, sometimes people say, "Here from thefourthvine," which is just the coolest thing ever OMG.) More joyous swooning followed. (If this keeps up, I'll need a fainting couch, and doesn't everyone want a good reason to buy a fainting couch?) And now isiscolo is saying - well, basically, that LJ recs have an effect, but only current recs; back recs on LJ aren't used as much. (Note: I am excessively over-simplifying her post. Please read it and ignore my summary.)

Me being me, my basic reaction to this was, yes, joyful swooning, and much burbling along the lines of: YAY! People sometimes read the things I recommend, and how neat is that? (Way neat, if you were wondering. Way, way neat.) But my secondary reaction to her conclusions was: hmmm. Perhaps I should update my memories or stop using tags or in some way make my LJ more, you know, useful to people.

And you are the people I want it to be useful to. Plus, I have a sick spouse at home and a bunch of work to do. You know what this means: it's time for yet another poll! (You can totally put "post fewer polls" in question five, by the way.)

Poll #878107
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 543

Please check this so I can get an accurate headcount. I don't want to leave any of you behind when we're done with the poll.

Do you read my recommendations? I mean, not the stories - the recs posts themselves.

Do you ever look through my back catalog of recommendations?

Do you read the stories or watch the vids I recommend?

What could make this LJ more useful or interesting to you?

Thank you for visiting the poll! As you exit, please make sure you have all your belongings, and select your choice of the following mutant chunks of text suggested by LJ.

I think it's time to engage in the tradition of a pre-holiday poll. (And when I say "tradition," I mean "I did it last year. Once.") This poll was going to be all thoughtful and intelligent - okay, no, I'm not fooling anymore. But it really was going to be all about you.

And then, see. Okay. helenish posted this (CAUTION: spoilers for the most recent SGA and House), describing John Sheppard as a lover. And I giggled. A lot. But I realized - I disagree with her.

Which made me start thinking about china_shop's dS Cliff, Shag, Marry poll, in which she posed a mean, mean question (Kowalski, Vecchio, Fraser: Cliff, Shag, Marry?). People's responses to that were just fascinating.

So I started to wonder: how are our characters in bed? Now, note: this is not in bed with another character. This is if you were having sex with them. (Yes, assume they're attracted to you. Yes, assume you're attracted to them, or if you can't imagine that without feeling all geechy inside, skip that question.) So I put in a scale for each of them:

1 = OMG WORST EVER. Get away from me.
5 = This is perhaps the most average sexual experience of my life. Ooo, tiled ceiling!
10 = I have just bodily ascended into heaven on the joyous wings of PURE SEXUAL ECSTASY.

But can numbers alone communicate how good a fuck someone is? I mean, suppose, for example, someone is really good at oral sex, then suspiciously bad at everything else? Or a one-minute wonder, but the cuddling is great? So I also included optional text boxes for you to unpack your adjectives and really tell me what sex with this character would be like.

Yes, this is totally a poll without any redeeming value or interest or content. I refuse to feel bad. It is the day before a holiday, and that makes it okay.

(Oh, and if you're curious about why these fandoms - I used the ones that had 200+ current fans in this poll. See, it's all very scientific (and poll-fixated) in here. I have methodology to my madness!)

Note: do not forget to hit submit after each fandom. LJ will only allow 15 questions per poll!

( Stargate: Atlantis )
( due South )
( Harry Potter )
( House, M.D. )
( Stargate: SG-1 )
( Supernatural )

I am very excited about yuletide, and I've been bouncing around like a crazed thing since I signed up. (This is the Anticipation phase of Yuletide. Yes, there are phases of Yuletide. Yes, I have actually written them down. I know, I know, so pathetic, but it's an important thing to me, okay? I was never that excited about the holidays as a kid, but as an adult, Yuletide makes me absolutely delirious with joy.)

Anyway. I deal with the Anticipation phase (This is actually Anticipation Part One, because sign-ups are still open. When they close, I will start hard-core Anticipation. It is dangerous to come within seven feet of me during that time.) in many ways, but in part by refreshing the requested fandoms list, so that I can admire the shiny numbers climbing ever higher. (Plus, this year, there is a festival of gold and green to admire there. You can even see how many people asked for and volunteered for a given fandom. It is the coolest thing ever!)

But the site went down briefly today. Suddenly, I had no outlet for my Yuletide glee. Hence, this poll.

And if any of you have friends listers who are also doing Yuletide, I'd love it if you'd point 'em over here, 'cause I don't know how many of my own friends listers are. (You all should, though. You get a story! In a tiny fandom of your choosing! And you can write a story that will make someone else's heart sing! And this year there is no qualifying requirement! Go, sign up, and then come back and take the poll!)

Yeah, yeah. 'Tis the season to abuse exclamation marks and the Create Poll function on LJ. Happy holidays!
( Take a poll of Yuletide cheer. )

So. I miss talking to and hearing from y'all. But I'm suffering from a tiny problem, namely absence of any ability to finish anything. Someday I hope to be able to write actual useful sentences that connect to other sentences again, but today is not that day, so I'm going to do a themed poll series instead of meta or a themed recs post. (There are only three parts to this themed poll set, but I realize that, from me, three posts is totally massive spamming. My apologies in advance.)

The poll's theme is: consensus.

In part one, below, I'm going to try to establish my relative fannish sanity by consensus. To do so, I need to take you on a brief tour of my brain, focusing on two particular fannish things it does that I'm starting to suspect are - well, weird. (And keep in mine I'm judging myself compared to other fans; we'd already be considered insane by many of Them Folks Out There.)

( We will now depart on our trip through TFV's brain. )